Don’t tug on Superman’s Cape. . .or remake RHPS

Maybe this is old news.  I am sure it is, because I am almost hopelessly out of touch with entertainment news, but a remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show? Based on the success of an episode of Glee?

Then, Ryan Murphy told sources that he is “definitely” remaking cult favorite and that he has already cast a few of the lead roles, with ‘Glee’ actressLea Michele taking over Susan Sarandon‘s Janet and Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson getting his dork on as Brad. Murphy also let slip that funnyman Russell Brand is in talks to play Tim Curry‘s notorious — and sexual — Dr. Frank-N-Furter and, continuing his role from the ‘Glee’ ‘Rocky Horror’ episode, John Stamos will most likely play motorcycle man Eddie. Source for all this is here.

Dammit, Janet, some things should be left alone.

I mean. . .Jimminey Fricking Christmas.  This would be like the Brothers Johnson singing “Hey Jude.” Well, yeah, they did, but trust me: it was not worth the studio time.

So, some remakes (or covers in the music biz) are worthwhile—like Warren Zevon’s cover of Prince’s Raspberry Beret (this is a test for a girl.  If she likes Prince’s version better, then run, sort of like crying or not when Ol Yeller died)

What’s next? Brittany Spears and Brad Pitt in Casablanca? Or Scarlett Johannson and Leo DeCaprio in GWTW?

Or Tom Hanks as Michael Corleone?

Maybe it is me, and maybe it is because I may have seen this movie more than any other, maybe 25 or 30 times more than Monty Python’s Holy Grail, and maybe experiencing the Time Warp hundreds of times has, well, altered me, but if, so, well,the bless me and Columbia’s Mousketeer Ears. . .the movie was perfect.

No, not perfect from a technical aspect and I am sure a Twilight/Glee remake of it would have astounding graphics, but what it would not have is Sarandon’s chicken knees or Bostwick’s seemingly effortless portrayal of a total and complete dork or Richard O’Brien’s sense of the whole thing, or Tim Curry’s magical over-the-top and yet understated Frankie.

First of all, the movie did not work.  It bombed until it started being played late at night and speaking to the outcasts of proper society, when it began breaking down barriers, when people, through Rocky, realized it is ok, believe it or not, to be a little different and that here was nothing wrong with having a little fun at society’s propriety.  The thing is society no longer has that sense of propriety to offend..

Remake it, I wont go.

But, I am not against remakes.  The War of the Worlds was fine. Even The Day the Earth Stood Still remake had its moments. But these were not time capsules of an era,they were just good stories. Don’t remake these icons. They are hollow vessels, maybe good visually, maybe better directed, and maybe better acted with more polish, but they have no soul.

Time is fleeting. Madness Takes its toll.  Forever, that should be Richard O’Brien’s voice.

picture is from here